MUMBLER!

yeah, so... saw charlie tonight...
damned good, 9/10.
depp is god.

so, im wondering to myself...
im completely attracted to this girl... physically, and intelectually...
but, do i like her as much as i thought i did?
fuck, she has such a great personality, a very, 'fuck you, fuck the world' thing going on, and i guess i fucking dig that.
what the fucking hell is wrong with me...

fuck july, and the horse she rode in on..


-el

''you're in my web now - i've come to wrap you up tight 'til it's time to bite down...''

well... thats that...
at least i gave it a shot, right?
i just wish... nevermind...


anyhoo,
just picked up the ugly organ by cursive, and whooooooo boy, god damnit thats one of the finest rock albums ive ever heard...

im building up my alcohol tolerance, therefore soon i can acually hold my own at any party or bar, (hopefully)... but regardless, alcohol just passes the time...

ehhhhh, i fucking missed red robot play at serendip's last night, fuck!
i was angry...

im tired of writing this, and id rather watch space ghost, so, this will be prompt....


-el

'some melodies are like disease...'

overwhelming sadness... yet perhaps even a light at this late an hour?

fuck, im a moron for even hoping.....

im so drunk, even this early... shat...

i feel so vile, deceiving all the ones i love, but, there is no other way...
beer is so bitter, but, less bitter than the sting of my heart,
if i just just drown myself, wont the pain just go away?
is this also in her gut, this feeling we must part...

ever notice how every song is about love?
where does that put someone like me, right in the smack-dab middle of loneliness...
its not above,
above all the pettiness, and romance, and love, and sadness..

- el

''space is the place''

curses!

fucking curses!

i am so damn depressed right now its funny...
so laugh it up...

- el

concerning all i love and hate....

so...
its been just under 2 months, and a lot of stuff has happened...

ive turned 21, fucking finally, went to vegas with my dad and waif...
(more on vegas later)

actually, sadly enough, thats almost it...
but theres this girl at my work, i really really like her... what to do...

i think im pretty sure ive received some signals,
and im about equally as positive ive sent some back...

for the last week and a half at work, ive been restraining myself from telling her how i feel about her... tonight i almost had the chance....
its just fucking tough for me to tell anyone, let alone this girl, how i actually feel, its just im a 95% introverted person when it comes to people that i dont know too well.

fucking fuck fuck fuck
i need to just tell her i really like her...
get this chicken shit crap outta the way,

fuck.

fuckity fucking fucktastic fucking fuck fuck...


- el