woke up this afternoon with...

... a funky frame of mind.
i feel a little, weird.
woke up, smoked dag, made coffee, smoked another dag, drank coffee while smoking dag, went upstairs, played hl2... but still none of this helped the feeling of emptiness, i cant help but feel i should do something worthwhile, but still... here i am...

i should read something, but i cant find republic, and the bible is starting to repeat itself a lot.
just moses tooling around in the desert, damnit, that fucker needs an asswooping.

i need more interesting fanfare, everything i have ive read, or watched, or listened too. everything is stale. like toast waiting too long for the scrape of butter. i need motivation. i need someone to call my own (not literally.. duh), again, this time i wont fuck shit up... so soon. HA, right... boo hoo for me. damnit, i need a shot and a brew, keep em coming.

i cant save any money, which is going to make Vegas a challange...
i cant afford to register my car...
i cant afford to smog my car...
damn, i cant even afford oil for my car...

sigh....

i need something.

- el